Joy in a pain-filled world

Today, as Decatur families gather to celebrate their seniors from the Decatur High school Class of 2022, I wanted to share these words that I shared on May 17th at DEF’s Celebration of Excellence where we honor our scholarship recipients. Given the state of the world, and the most recent tragic events in our country, the honoring of joy alongside pain seems very relevant.
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Good evening – I am Gail Rothman, the executive director of the Decatur Education Foundation and I want to welcome you to our annual Celebration of Excellence. What a year this has been.

Here we are in this beautiful place about to send another amazing group of students out beyond our city boundary. And yet, outside of this lovely space it can truly feel like the world is stressed to the max. How can we celebrate in the midst of so much turmoil? Find joy amidst the pain of what so many are going through.

Last weekend, I took a short break from a long year to celebrate live music – I traveled to Jazzfest in New Orleans.

It had been so long since we were in such a big crowd and everywhere we went, there were so many people out and about – friends catching up, families out for a stroll, individuals dancing to their own beat and even a group of girlfriends with matching tie-dye hats waiting for Stevie Nicks to play. I found myself overcome with an emotion that I would call post-pandemic euphoria, an overwhelming feeling of hope that the worst is behind us and a feeling of connection with everyone else who was celebrating the power of music to bring people together and provide hope in a sometimes-cruel world. At the same time, I couldn’t help but feel the magnitude of all that we have lost over the past 2+ years, both individually and collectively.

I have recently become much more aware, in a profound way, that it is entirely possible to experience two seemingly opposite feelings at the same time. Joy can, and does, coexist with sorrow and in fact, I think this ability to hold two seemingly incongruous emotions may be what defines our humanity.

I can’t help but think that this generation, YOU who are graduating after a prolonged pandemic, during which you faced losses both large and small, have learned this duality much earlier than previous generations. You were forced to, and I believe that it will make you more adept at navigating the challenges yet to come. When you can understand that joy can coexist alongside pain or loss, you will be more connected to your own humanity and to the humanity of others. You have already demonstrated this in so many ways – in your social justice work, in your service to your community, in reaching out to other students. In the midst of the loss you experienced during the pandemic, you found ways to LEAD, in the midst of isolation, you found ways to CONNECT and in the midst of fear, you found ways to be COURAGEOUS. You know how to navigate the world of “both/and” in lieu of “either/or” and that is exactly the kind of leaders we need now more than ever.

For so many years, with the exception of the past two, I have stood here at Agnes Scott, before a room full of people in mid-May and welcomed guests to this event. Each year teachers, administrators, donors, volunteers and honorees told me it was their favorite night of the year. Though it takes a lot of planning, it has traditionally also been the favorite event for the DEF team as well – the night which marked the culmination of another academic year. It took me several years to really understand what made this night so special to all of us. While its purpose is to celebrate our scholarship recipients, it is also a time to remember those who are no longer with us, children, and parents for whom so many of the awards are named. In the past at this event, parents who have tragically lost a child, sit in fellowship with parents who are celebrating and honoring their graduates. What could be more beautiful than a group of people bound by a love of place, and a connection to community coming together to stand side by side to acknowledge the pain of loss and to experience joy?

Last year, Because of the pandemic, we were not able to have our scholarship donors with us and I am so grateful that they are joining us this year. Tonight, we honor their gracious generosity and are honored to hold their loved ones close in our hearts and minds as we remember the deep and lasting impact they have had on us. I invite you to take in their stories and let them co-exist with your deep joy at completing your high school years. They, like you, left their mark on our community and tonight, we celebrate this specific moment in time which stands at the intersection of honoring the past and looking to the future.

I can think of no better way to end a great academic school year than celebrating these phenomenal students in this lovely setting. I will close by sharing the charge that was given at my son’s virtual college graduation last year from Pitzer College by President Melvin Oliver:
Graduates, I charge you to go out & make the world a better place. But do it with love, the love that brings light to darkness, the love that buries hate, the love that transforms enemies into friends, the love that gives grace to those who struggle.

To each of the graduates we say good luck, soar high, be great, have fun and above all else don’t forget that you will always be part of this community.